Thursday, January 27, 2011

Two steps FORWARD

Its amazing how I keep thinking I will have nothing to do and then the day hits me (sometimes the night before).  Even if I plan activities days ahead, the day comes and things change.  The Best Laid plans of Mice and Men...? Or is it I take Two steps forward, and one step back?  I guess it really depends on the day.  

Homeschooling is an adventure in and of itself.  Don't let it fool you - it will change you and your household in ways that you never thought it would.  For example, along with other scores of women for various reasons, I have a cycle of depression.  I don't let this stop me & I would encourage you to not let it overcome you.  Most of mine has to do with what occurred in previous marriages.  (Yes I have been married 5 times to be exact, only 3 were with the military, so given the current one I have Marines, Air Force, and Army covered!) They are echoes or residues to particular events that occurred, except for the individuals who reached out to me during these times, I mean those who spent time helping me overcome the situation, know parts of what I was going thru. 

It was hard to share or explain the feelings.  Each of these times included a pregnancy so I was highly hormonal if not somewhat imbalanced.  I didn't want to come off as such and I thought the best thing to do was hide my feelings.  I can tell you that outside of my loving & understanding husband, there is no one in my family who has a real clue what was going on.  Mostly because they are given to assumptions and quick temperaments.  When they saw an "event" going on in my life they didn't bother to find out more or choose to be in our lives, and so we have lost connection in this aspect.  I love them and accept them regardless.  I had to accept that they had a perception of things, most of which are emotional attachments of their own, and therefore those thing are more real to them than what actually went on in my life. 

On the other hand, I found "real" family.  These are those who reached out to me and showed me they really care - not just once a year, or when they were feeling in the mood to care - but when it was inconvenient to them.  For example, I was married to this one individual who convinced his command that that we weren't married, even though it took another 8 months to get a divorce,  and so I didn't get BAH (housing allowance).  I was home less with 4 kids (one of which was his) for a couple of weeks.  A couple of members from my church opened up their doors an helped us.  They have been there for me when I needed to cry and gave me a shoulder to cry on.  During those times there were those who drive by in the mornings to make sure I am ok.  They had no clue what I might need, but because they cared, they went out of their way to just do something small.  That something small meant so much to me and my family - and in the long run probably kept me from going crazy.  There were so many people I once knew that didn't want to "know" or be around such a scary situation - as if it would rub off of them and contaminate them as well.

What has this to do with homeschooling? Well I don't know about you but I have the kind of kids that can drive you crazy!.  I would volunteer them for demolition crews if I could.  However when I made the decision to pull them out of school, I made the decision to let them know I cared about them. I walked into the homes of homeschoolers and felt the love and the connection.  I truly felt that it was a formula for teaching what a real family was and getting them prepare to connect to their own families.  After all, it is during the times of our struggles that we define our family ties. 

The most surprising thing of it all, is that there is a sense of peace and less stress within the walls of my own home! How did this happen?  I don't know what it is exactly.  I fathom I'm too new at this to put the right words together.  I am simply amazed at the difference in my kids behavior, how it has uplifted me from depression, and how rewarding it has been to teach my family how to connect!

How are you teaching your family to connect?

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